My time at Spelman College came to an end on Thursday, April 28th. I can’t believe 4 years went by so rapidly and that come May 15th, I’ll be a graduate of Spelman College!! I’ve had a love/hate relationship with my school but in the end, I know that I’m going to miss it here. Where else would you find market Friday or hump Wednesday or pageants that hosts some of the most ruthless audience members ever?? Although I came in knowing a lot o fthe skills Spelman had to offer, I was able to enhance those skills and take away an experience that people who don’t attend HBCUs will ever have.
I’m really excited about May 15th and moving on to another chapter in my life. Am I sad that I’ll be leaving Spelman? No, I won’t. Spelman has taught me everything that it can and I have taken advantage of everything it has to offer so there’s no need to be sad. I knew I was only spending four years at this school and I knew this day was coming so there is no feelings of sadness or of feeling bittersweet—just content and joy of being able to graduate from such a great institution. Some people say that the sad feeling of leaving the school will hit me later but I doubt that. Graduation shouldn’t be a time of mourning but more a time to celebrate all your hard work and achievement. Yes, it is time to go back to the real world where the majority of people don’t look like me but I never lost sight of the fact that I’m a minority just because I was in the AUC. I plan staying in touch with those friends who have been there for me (and vice versa) since the beginning and with all the social media out there, there’s no need to lost contact.
Come May 15th, I look forward to stepping on that stage, receiving my diploma later on in the day, celebrating my graduation with my family and friends and enjoying every last moment of it. I’m looking forward to having a great summer and moving away to another country and enjoying what that place has to offer. To quote one of my favorite songs, “every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end” so to the class of 2011, don’t weep at the thought of leaving the AUC but instead be filled with bliss at the thought that you are now equipped to go change the world and do wonderful things!
Bonsoir. Je m’appelle Anoh Marie-Claude Sokona Nicole et j'étais né et je suis de la Côte d'Ivoire. For those who know me well, you know that I am from Côte d'Ivoire (CIV) and that though I am an American citizen, I will state that I’m African, Ivorian specifically, before saying that I’m American. When I went home this past winter break, I remembered my dad always being glued to the computer or his laptop, listening to broadcasts and reading about the crisis in CIV and though I thought he was too focused on it, I now have been consumed with that same thirst to find out what is going on in my country at every single moment. From Abidjan.net to CNN, to BBC, to the Slate, I have been glued to my laptop, following every single move that is going on in CIV. These past couple of weeks, people have been asking me what I think about the crisis in CIV, how I feel about and if I’m in favor of a certain president. I normally just plainly say “I don’t want to talk about it but it saddens me” but with the events that have occurred these past few days, I feel that I should get off my chest how I feel .
My feelings
First and foremost, I am very saddened by the turmoil that’s been occurring in my country. When I left my home town of Abidjan years ago to move to the United States, I remember a peaceful place, with friendly people, kids going above and beyond in schools to the point that you were teased by other students and teachers if you not the best student in the class, a country vibrant, full of spirit, and proud of its culture. During the time that I lived in CIV, we were under our first and greatest president thus far, Félix Houphouët-Boigny. Under his leadership, the country was able to become of the prosperous nations on the west coast of Africa. I haven’t been back to CIV since the turmoil first began back in 2001 or so but for my friends and family members who do go back, they have told me that the country I once knew is nothing like the country that they grew up in and go back to visit. I’m saddened by this recent chaos because innocent people—my people, are dying! The majority of my family is still in CIV and I fear for their safety and for their life! Because of the chaos that’s been going on since 2002, people have been jobless, the conflict between the North and the
<--WARNING VIDEO IS VERY GRAPHIC!! Secondly, I am ANGRY that the French and the UN felt the need to go and bomb CIV (see article Bombing in CIV) . The UN “peacekeepers” and France stated that they were bombing incumbent president, Laurent Gbagbo’s military camps in order to protect the people but civilians have died BECAUSE of the bombings!!! The UN and France are also using “chosen” president Alassane Ouattara’s army to take hold of Gbagbo and his force but from the looks of it, Ouattara’s army is killing civilians. Some of the people who are surrounding Gbagbo’s presidential palace and are on his side are YOUNG KIDS who are walking around with bats or whatever makeshift weapons they can find and they’re being attacked by Ouattara’s camp and outside supporters of Ouattara. Bombing certain parts of a country is not the best solution when trying to obtain “peace!” This whole mess of “who is the actual president” that has caused nothing but problems since November, has forced many Ivorians to flee and take refuge in neighboring countries such as Ghana, and Liberia (See Ghanaweb.com , CNN World and Voanews.com).
The presidents
Laurent Gbagbo- Became the second president of CIV in 2000 and the country was under his “leadership” for 10 years.
Why I like him
Umm…..
Why I don’t like him
He’s been president for 10 years and has accomplished nothing. Houphouët-Boigny died in 1993 and left the country in great shape so everything should have been easy for the following president but that wasn’t the case. Gbagbo was elected as the president by the people in order to overthrow Robert Guéï and his presidency saw a civil war between the “rebels” in the north and the his government in the south. Since his presidency, there has been nothing but chaos but he continues to live comfortably at home. When I lived in CIV, there was one point in which I lived with an aunt and uncle on my father’s side and we lived around the corner from Gbagbo’s home. I remember that his home was so beautiful on the outside and when I peaked on the inside, it was just the same and I remember that he was building upon and around his house so that it reached a full block or two. Up until today, he sat comfortability in his home that he was STILL making additions to, while the people, his “people” are suffering. I just haven’t seen any strong progress from him for the country over the years but he has a lot of supporters so maybe I’m missing something. Also, if he had stepped down like the world was asking him to, maybe all of this current bloodshed would have been prevented!
Alassane Ouattara-“true president” Why I like him
…….
Why I don’t like him
Circumstances over his actual “victory” as president are still very shady. I keep reading that the Independent Electoral Commission declared him winner while the The Constitutional Council found Gbagbo to be the winner because of some fraud votes that took place in the northern part of CIV, which is where Ouattara’s forces are. I’m reading and watching more videos about Ouattara winning due to fraud than I am about him winning fair and square. Everyone from outside of CIV favors and sees Ouattara as the president. Why? Most of the violence that has occurred in CIV was created because Ouattara’s army were on a quest to conquer territories that belong to Gbagbo. In the last couple days, news has arisen that Ouattara’s army killing hundreds of civilians but Ouattara claims that Gbagbo’s camp did this. I believe there is a lot of blood on the hands of Ouattara yet this is the “democratic president” that the world wants to take control of CIV. With the latest developments of more bodies being found around Ouattara’s camp, there is talk that a genocide similar to Rwanda’s might and will take place in CIV (See article Telegraph.co.uk). Yes, due to the clash between Ouattara and Gbagbo’s army, people were killed (see articles Vancouversun.com and Africanewscircle.com) but I do believe that Ouattara and his army killed INNOCENT people on purpose and are doing some very shady things.
Final thoughts
My country once was called the paradise of Africa and now we’re on the State Department’s list of countries that you shouldn’t fly to. Even if you wanted to go to CIV right now, you wouldn’t be able to since the airports are closed. People are fleeing around the clock, banks are closed, businesses are closed, people have barricaded themselves in their homes since last Wednesday and Ouattara’s army has imposed a daily curfew that begins at noon every day (See article Guardian.co.uk). Hours ago, some sections of Abidjan was hit with water and power being cut off. It appears to me that my people are suffering more at the hands of Ouattara and his supporters than anybody else. I just hope that my country can one day gain some stability and rebuild itself to an even better country than it was when I was there. In the meantime, I pray for my family and I pray for my people. Long live CIV.
Earlier this morning, I ended my 2 years and 4 months relationship. My ex and I have had an interesting time together from the day we met until now. He used to attend the college across from me but this year, he transferred to a university in another state due to the type of program he is in. Even before he transferred, I kept hearing from outside sources how hard long distance relationships are but hey, my ex was also my best friend, someone I saw myself marrying (which is weird enough for me because I have NEVER pictured myself marrying any of my exes) so I wanted nothing more than to make it work. My ex and I came up with a plan—we would see one another twice a month (I would go down and he would come up) and keep switching off like that. Something happened in October/November where I ended up making more trips to see him than he made up to see me but that’s fine because he was getting adjusted to school and trying to make new friends. Things weren’t easy for him during his first semester but that’s to be expected when you enter a COMPLETELY different environment from the one you spent 3 years at. He has a way of poorly communicating so when he was upset about something that dealt with school, he would just shut me out and just be cold. I talked to him about it and although he said he didn’t realize he acted that way, he didn’t mean to and he would work on it—ok, cool.
Second semester rolls around and he’s ready to give it his all. He loves his school now and has even found a group of friends that he consistently hangs out with. Problem is he’s focusing more time on school and going out with his friends until 3, 4 in the morning, and we’re communicating a little less and a lot more ineffectively. The conversations kind of changed, especially on my end and I just didn’t really have much to say. My routine consists of waking up, going to school, working at my two jobs, and coming home. If I have a meeting at school or if a friend wants to hang out, I do that as well but nothing major. Anytime we spoke he would just tell me about every single thing he did with his friends or at school and all and that’s fine because we used to have similar conversations when he went to school across from me. I just kind of got annoyed when he would tell me to wait up for him until 12 midnight or 12:30 midnight and would fight sleep as hard as I could and of course, he would never call or text or skype me at that time because he was too busy partying until 3, 4 am. I think that’s inconsiderate and he could have shot me a text or something letting me know that he was still out...
Things just kind of changed a little more and we fought a lot more and I felt as though I couldn’t share anything with him. For those who know me, I am not a very open person in any type of relationship and it takes me a while to let someone in and share my feelings. Recently, my ex tells me that when I share my feelings with him, I stress him out and that I also need to work on how I express my feelings to him. Ok, over 2 years and this is the FIRST time I’m hearing this. Today when we were arguing for the final time, he tells me that I bring stress into his life and that he keeps hearing things from other people about me and it’s pulling at his heart strings and all this stuff. Before we had even argued, I went on Facebook and saw that he untagged himself in all the pictures we had together or that I took of him and then he puts on Twitter that he’s “too good” for me. I think this breakup was long overdue but the only difference between the two of us is that I’ve always been willing to fight for this relationship. On the other hand, he’s not, always plays victim anytime we have an argument, tells me he “understands” where I’m coming from but then negates what I just said because “it’s not true,” tells me I need to “change the way I communicate” with him yet he had a problem when I didn’t communicate with him and he’s the worst communicator that I have ever met and finally, he’s a puppet for other people.
I have had a lot of outside influences telling me how I should run my relationship but I don’t let that influence me. Everything spiraled out of control because I expressed a certain something to him that he didn’t quite like. From his actions today and from the way he’s been acting up until this point, I’m glad it’s over and that I finally decided to pay attention to his true colors. I’m not going to lie—I deleted all pictures, cut up any I had in my apartment, threw the promise ring he gave me somewhere, almost thought about ripping the painting he made of us but I think I’m just going to throw it out and I cried for 2, 3 hours. Now, it just dawned on me that it’s really not the end of the world! I’m young, I’m intelligent, I’m beautiful and I love myself too much to let some guy ruin the rest of my senior year! I thought he was going to be part of my future but everything happens for a reason so good riddance. It’s time to pick up the pieces and keep on trucking.
Final word! For those who are contemplating a long distance relationship remember that without trust, open and complete communication and dedication, things can take a turn for the worst. If you’ve managed to be in a long distance relationship in your early 20’s, kudos to you but if not, there’s always someone else out there.
For my last night in MA, I went out to dinner with three of my best friends. We went to this nice new Mexican restaurant that I had experienced about two days ago and just enjoyed one another’s company. I must say that I really have some amazing friends. Though not all of my friends were present tonight but I am extremely glad that besides two, I had the opportunity to see them all. Hanging out with my friends now is the same as it was back in middle school. I remember on my first day of my freshman year, my English professor told the class that once we go home, everything will be different—our friends will change or as individuals, we will change and I remember thinking to myself how afraid I was about returning home and drifting apart from my friends. To my utter surprise, I came home to find that absolutely NOTHING had changed!
A few of my college friends felt that they had grown up from their friends and they did not really want to hang out with them but only did because they had nothing else to do. For me, going home and seeing my friends felt as though we had NEVER left! My friends and I still joked around the same, still hung out, had sleepovers, and still experienced the strong bonds that some college students lose from their childhood friends. I remember coming home for Thanksgiving break my freshman year and going to lunch at this local Chinese restaurant and thinking to myself how wrong my English teacher was! Fast forward to senior year in college, and it’s still the same old thing.
Dinner with my three friends tonight really was great! Though things were still the same, they really were not. My friends and I just talked and thought about the fact that we were graduating this semester and whether or not we would see one another again after tonight. It sounded so depressing but hey, I might be abroad for a year! One of my friends is moving to either NJ or NY and working in NY! Another one might stay in CA and work there! Another one might move to NH and work there or come back to MA and work here! Another friend is moving to NV and working there! Like me, one’s still figuring out where she really wants to end up, one is going to work in MA, two more are going to work in NY and another is going to grad school somewhere in New England. It is sad to think that we were rarely see one another again unless we come home for the holidays but at the same time, it’s great to know that we’re all doing big things and doing things that we love to do. I love my friends and I know I can always count on them! They’re extremely honest, open, will call me out no problem and vice versa, dependable, funny, and just the most amazing friends a girl can ever ask for… seriously!
No matter where life takes us, I hope we all stay in contact and continue to experience that bond and great friendship we have. I want to be able to tell my kids one day that I have been friends with my best friends for over 30 years! I love you all and I wish you nothing but the best! Congratulations guys, we’re almost at the end of this leg of our journey!!!
So for the longest time, my mom has been telling me to create a dream board. What exactly is a dream board? It’s a board in which you put your entire life on and it has to be specific. For example if you want children, you cut out pictures of how many kids you want, and you put it on the board. If you want to be dentist, you cut out a picture of something that has to do with dentistry and paste it on your board. Get the idea?
I had a dream board, back in sophomore year and it was not anything realistic-- at least not for me. It was halfway finished, I had a picture of Chris Brown on it (he was supposed to be the man I wanted to marry but not really), I had a stack of money, a burnt orange BMW, a random mansion in some European country, and a bunch of random words. Looking back on it, it was really just random things I had cut out of magazines, glued on my board, showed my mom, and thought I was satisfied. One big thing about the dream board is that you’re supposed to look at it every day and visualize what you’ve put on it and truly visualize your life the way you designed it. So thinking about my board now, it was definitely a waste of time. Do I see myself marrying Chris Brown? Heccccckkk no. Do I want a burnt orange Beamer?? Not at all. Do I need a 566780978 room mansion in the middle of nowhere? Naah but it would be nice just to say I have one lol.
This entry might seem a little random but the other night, my mom came home with 4 big black foam boards and said it was for a dream board! One was for me, one for her, one for my sister, and one for my brother or my dad. I wanted to do it but it’s too big to fit into my suitcase and it would be ridiculous to ship it. I think this time around, I’m going to put some serious thought into my dream board and make one. Heck, Oprah has dream board ideas posted on her website and if Oprah is talking about it, it’s got t be good!! There are a lot of things that I want out of my life and I really do want them to come to fruition. After all, if you can dream it, you can do it.
If you want to create your own dream board but don’t know where to start, check out the following sites:
Relationships are funny things and come in various types—you have your abusive ones, your ones with one person completely dependent on the other, you have your ones that are argument free, etc. etc. Senior year of college, it seems as though everyone is rushing to get into a relationship or get engaged. At times, all this rushing doesn’t seem to end well and I’ve noticed quite a few couples who stick together for all the wrong reasons and don’t seem to care that things aren’t that great. There are the couples who walk around campus hand in hand, smiling from ear to ear at one another and completely lost in one another. There are the couples who are great when they’re alone but act differently towards their partner when they’re around their friends. All in all, to each his own, right?
One major thing that I have noticed is that different people will tell you different things about what constitutes as a great relationship and I’ve also discovered that if you’re going to take relationship advice from your single friends, be careful with whose advice you actually listen to. Through my various relationships, I have figured out what works for me and what doesn’t. My current bf and I have been together for a little over 2 years now and although I came in knowing what I would and wouldn’t put up with, how I want to be treated, etc etc, I’m still learning a lot about my relationship and relationships in general.
Through my own personal experience and from observing and talking to couples who have been together for 13+years, I’ve realized the key to successful relationships: 1). Trust- pretty obvious right? But you’d be surprised with how many people say they trust their bf/gf but then go through their text, fb, skype, twitter messages, etc etc. 2). Honesty- if you can’t be honest with your partner than ahhh you don’t need to be in a relationship. 3). Respect- being in a relationship and treating your partner like crap will come back to you 3 times worse! 4). Healthy arguments- if you can argue with your partner, be civilized about it, and come to a consensus, you’ll be good! The worst thing you can do is not argue because that means someone in the relationship is hiding feelings, is unhappy, and you’re bound to get cheated on. 5).Compliment one another- when couples first start dating, they compliment one another here and there but after they’re officially in a relationship, that stops. Remember that everyone loves a compliment so send her a text while she’s at work saying you love how she will sit and watch a game with you even though she’s not into sports… call him at work and tell him how much you appreciate him supporting you know matter what. 6). Surprise him/her with gifts- even if it’s a coupon allowing him/her to have a “pick whatever you want to do and I’ll do it with you” day, or a drawing you make for him/her. 7). Don’t forget to say “I love you”- just because you’re in a long term and committed relationship, don’t stop saying it… don’t just assume that you don’t need to say it because your partner already knows how you feel. 8). Don’t play the blame game- it never ends well for anyone. 9). Listen to one another- don’t dismiss what your partner has to say because the reality is that if you keep doing it, you’ll find yourself in a relationship where your partner doesn’t want to share anything with you anymore. 10). Enjoy the little moments- life’s too short to stress out so much. Have fun, love one another, and just be adventurous!
If all else fails, you can always start a cyber relationship and never meet the person, or just date a doll! :)
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
As quickly as it came, HC2010 is now over and everybody (specifically the seniors) are stressing in order to catch on work. The Monday after homecoming was over, I walked on campus to find that the majority of my classmates had bags under their eyes, were completely drained, and some had lost their voices. To the classmates that I knew, I would ask “hey, how was your homecoming” and with a big grin on their face, the response would always be “girrrrrl, I had a good time!” At this, I would laugh, we would exchange a few more words, then head our separate ways. Everyone seemed to have had an amazing homecoming and for me, I thought it was just “okay.”
Way before homecoming even began, I was too pressed about it. I wasn’t worried about getting my tickets early, or finding a dress for the ball, or what events I would go to! As homecoming came about and I saw more and more alumns on campus, I came to the realization that I wasn’t excited because I’m ready to leave and come back as an alumn. Freshmen year, homecoming was a big deal to me because I had never partaken in a homecoming like this (besides in high school but ours just consisted of the football game and the homecoming dance). Freshmen year, everything was so new and everything I experienced was amazing! With each year and with each homecoming, the experience seemed to lose its zeal and appeal. All my classmates and other students from the AUC and outside of the AUC seem to make their own fun during homecoming because they get drunk and/or high and have fun in that sense; let me tell you that being one of few sober people during homecoming is NOT FUN whatsoever. Lol.
It’s senior year and I expected this homecoming to be ABSOLUTELY out of control but, it came up short. I didn’t go to the hip-hop concert because I’m not a fan of Rick Ross and there is definitely better talent out there. I didn’t go to the fashion show either and I missed the neo-soul concert (with regrets). I did however partake in the coronation ball (which was a mistake mostly because I had heard the SAME playlist the night before) and tailgate (representing ISO of course). I think I’m just ready to put some distance between myself and the school and hopefully coming back as an alumn will draw the same feeling I saw on the faces of the alumns that flocked the campus.
For those who had an amazing time during homecoming, I’m glad you did and I hope you’re well rested! For my seniors, keep pushing through school and continue to make the wonderful memories that you’ll hopefully remember for the rest of your life.
